Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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