You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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