4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
