It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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