even my farts smell like vagina
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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