4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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