Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
