No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
