Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
