I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
