if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I didn't notice because vodka
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
