ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i think i have two assholes
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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