Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's blow job season.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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