I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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