Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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