the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
