I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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