Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
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almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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