Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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