like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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