It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
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His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
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It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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