i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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