nut hugger
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
