They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
