he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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