I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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