I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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