I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
