I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Randomize
