That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
