mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
