i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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