wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
