dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
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Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just had sex on a roof
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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