bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
