it was like having sex with a tree stump
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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