There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
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We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize