When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
PANTIES FOUND
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