All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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