What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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