thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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