covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You've changed since you got that strap on
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
