I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize