I want to walk on stilts...naked
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
