Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
50% drunk capacity currently
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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