i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She bit a glass in half.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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