Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
