She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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