so that wasnt chicken after all
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
