Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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