Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
