so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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