1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
