i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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