So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
