They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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