i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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